FICTION — Rock Ptarmigan News Service
PINE LAKE CAMPGROUND — A man sleeping inside a $600 lightweight tent approximately 40 yards from a flush toilet described conditions at a developed campground Saturday as “pretty primitive.”
Local resident Craig Harlan, 38, made the assessment while seated in a padded camp chair beside a picnic table, drinking coffee from a vacuum-insulated stainless-steel mug.
“We’re really roughing it,” Harlan said.
Pine Lake Campground includes potable water, paved access roads, numbered campsites, steel fire rings, picnic tables, bear-resistant trash containers, modern restrooms, and a camp store two miles away.
Cellular service is inconsistent.
Harlan cited this last detail repeatedly.
“I had one bar last night,” he said. “At one point nothing would load.”
His wife, Dana, said the family had brought two battery banks, a rechargeable lantern, a propane stove, an insulated cooler, inflatable sleeping pads, down sleeping bags, and the premium tent.
“We’re comfortable,” she said.
Craig shook his head.
“Comfortable for camping.”
At 8:14 a.m., he checked the temperature on a smartwatch.
It was 57 degrees.
He announced that this explained why the morning felt cold.
Neighboring camper Bev Ramirez, 64, overheard the discussion while emerging from a 17-year-old dome tent held together in one corner with replacement shock cord.
Ramirez looked at Harlan’s campsite.
Then at Harlan.
Then at the flush restroom building.
“I’m glad everybody survived,” she said.
Harlan’s tent weighs less than four pounds.
He selected it after watching several comparison videos and reading approximately 30 online reviews.
He said the purchase was justified because the family intends to begin backpacking eventually.
Saturday’s campsite was 22 feet from their vehicle.
“That doesn’t mean the gear isn’t being tested,” he said.
At breakfast, Harlan prepared coffee using a compact camping kettle and pour-over cone.
The process took approximately four minutes.
He described this as “part of slowing down.”
At minute three, he checked his phone.
Dana looked at him over the rim of her mug and returned to breakfast.
The family spent the morning hiking a two-mile lake loop.
When they returned, Harlan reclined in a camp chair and said the absence of air conditioning had become noticeable.
There was a breeze.
“I’m not complaining,” he said.
Ramirez, from the next site, said nobody had accused him of complaining.
At 2 p.m., Harlan drove into town.
He said the trip was necessary because the family had run out of ice.
He returned with ice, two breakfast sandwiches, and an oat-milk latte.
Dana pointed at the latte.
Craig said the town was “basically on the way.”
It was not.
That evening, the family cooked dinner over the camp stove and watched the sunset over the lake.
Harlan admitted the campground was beautiful.
He also said he was surprised how exhausting “this kind of minimal living” could be.
At 9:30 p.m., he zipped himself into a technical sleeping bag on a three-inch inflatable pad inside the $600 tent.
The flush toilet remained 40 yards away.
Ramirez turned off her headlamp and went to sleep.
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