FICTION — Rock Ptarmigan News Service
UPPER PINE COUNTY — A white-tailed deer brought evening traffic to a complete stop Tuesday after entering County Road 8 and appearing to begin a lengthy internal review of every possible direction it could take.
The deer stepped onto the roadway at approximately 6:18 p.m., according to motorists, then stopped near the centerline.
It looked left.
It looked right.
It turned halfway around.
It turned back.
It remained there.
“I assumed it was crossing,” said commuter Rachel Baines, who was the first vehicle stopped. “That assumption became less useful over time.”
Within two minutes, six vehicles had formed a line in each direction.
The deer moved three steps toward the east shoulder, reconsidered, returned to the center of the road, and stared directly at a drainage ditch as though newly briefed on its existence.
Upper Pine County sheriff’s deputy Marcus Bell arrived after a motorist called the non-emergency line to report what dispatch logged as “deer indecision.”
Bell parked with emergency lights activated and advised motorists to remain stopped.
“I have handled deer in the roadway before,” Bell said. “Usually the process contains more movement.”
Wildlife guidance warns drivers that deer may stop, reverse direction, or be followed by additional animals. Safety agencies generally advise slowing down, preparing to stop, and avoiding dangerous swerves that can lead to more severe crashes.
No motorists attempted to pass.
This gave the deer additional time for analysis.
At 6:23 p.m., it approached the west lane.
At 6:24, it returned east.
At 6:25, it looked behind itself for the first time, revealing what witnesses interpreted as concern that another option had been overlooked.
County transportation planner Leslie Orr, who happened to be in the traffic line, described the process as “an unusually robust alternatives evaluation.”
“It has identified at least four movement scenarios,” Orr said. “I would normally expect a preferred alternative by now.”
Orr clarified she was joking after a reporter began taking notes.
Baines said the delay produced an unexpected sense of solidarity among drivers.
“At first everybody was annoyed,” she said. “Then it went on long enough that we all became invested in what it was going to choose.”
Several people turned off their engines.
One motorist opened a granola bar but remained inside his vehicle.
Bell asked a man in a pickup truck not to get out for a photograph.
“The deer does not need stakeholder engagement,” Bell said.
At 6:29 p.m., after approximately 11 minutes in or immediately beside the roadway, the deer abruptly bounded across the east shoulder and disappeared into a field.
Traffic did not move immediately.
Drivers remained stopped for several seconds, apparently uncertain whether the decision was final.
Bell waved both directions through.
“Once it committed, it really committed,” he said.
The first six vehicles passed without incident.
Then a second deer emerged from the same ditch and crossed the road in approximately three seconds.
Baines said this changed the emotional character of the event.
“That second deer had a plan,” she said.
The county reported no collision, injury, or property damage.
Officials reminded drivers that deer are especially active around dawn and dusk in many seasons and that seeing one deer can indicate others nearby.
The first deer could not be reached for comment on whether it regretted the route.
Witnesses said there was no indication it had finished evaluating alternatives.
Related: A Bear Locker Full of Questions · Area Badger Badgers Wisconsin Badgers’ Badger · Black Bear Disappointed to Learn Subaru Contains Only Climbing Equipment
Leave a Reply