FICTION — Rock Ptarmigan News Service
RIVER GLEN OFFICE PARK — A Canada goose occupying three parking spaces near the south entrance expanded its territorial claim Tuesday to include the remainder of the parking lot, a landscaped median, and approximately 40 feet of sidewalk.
Employees first noticed the goose standing near Space 18 at 7:52 a.m.
By 8:10, a second goose was visible near a low ornamental shrub believed to contain a nest.
The first goose began intercepting pedestrians.
“He wasn’t using the parking spaces,” said accountant Rachel Kim. “He was administrating them.”
Facilities staff placed two orange cones near the area to encourage employees to use another entrance.
This produced an unintended political result.
The goose positioned itself between the cones.
Witnesses interpreted the arrangement as a checkpoint.
Facilities manager Derek Shaw rejected this description.
“It is wildlife,” he said. “The cones are for people.”
The goose disagreed in posture.
U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service guidance notes that Canada geese can become highly defensive around nests, especially males guarding an incubating mate. Geese habituated to people in urban and suburban settings may approach or attack people more readily.
Shaw asked employees not to approach the nest area and to use the north walkway temporarily.
At 9:05, the goose expanded its patrol to a handicapped-access aisle.
Facilities staff moved the cones again.
The goose followed.
“This is not an annexation,” Shaw said.
An employee photographed the scene and posted the image in a company chat with the caption:
South Lot Has Fallen.
By 9:30, the thread had accumulated 64 reactions.
Someone changed the goose’s display name to Lot Manager.
Human Resources asked employees to stop.
The goose remained.
At 10:12, a delivery driver attempted to use the south entrance.
The goose lowered its head and moved forward.
The driver returned to the truck.
“I respect local authority,” he said.
Wildlife staff contacted by the office advised giving the pair space and avoiding the nest area.
Shaw said the company would not remove the nest or interfere with eggs without appropriate legal guidance.
Canada geese, their nests, and eggs are protected under federal migratory-bird law, and management actions can require specific authorization depending on the situation.
This made the temporary detour considerably easier.
“We have another door,” Shaw said.
The goose did not.
Around noon, the female left the nest briefly to feed.
The male escorted her across the lot.
Several employees remained inside and watched through windows.
At 12:24, both geese walked across the center drive lane at approximately one mile per hour.
Traffic stopped.
No horn sounded.
The geese reached the grass.
The male looked back toward the building.
Employees waited.
After several minutes, the pair returned toward the nest.
The south entrance remained closed.
Shaw said the company expects the conflict to be temporary and will continue routing people around the area.
Asked whether the goose now controls the lot, he said no.
At that moment, an employee approached the south door from inside.
The goose immediately stood up.
Shaw looked through the glass.
“We are sharing the lot,” he said.
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